Long time fans know that I consider myself to be in possession of a modicum of talent. This particularly holds true in the often overlooked area of band biographies. Sadly, my friends, I must report that I have been bested. I have never listened to this fellow’s music, and I never will, because it can’t possibly measure up to the genius of his bio.

“Kennedy was raised by alcoholic werewolves on the shore of the River Styx. At the age of 7 he learned to play a harp made of fire. By the age of twelve Kennedy was headlining Caligula’s underworld palace. Kennedy is currently in political exile in an uncharted region of Andromeda.”